Most couples talk about money often, especially when it comes to spending or paying bills. How to talk about money with your spouse is one of the most important skills to learn for managing finances in marriage. Done well, these conversations can help you stay on track with your financial goals. However, if handled poorly, they can quickly turn into arguments that leave both spouses frustrated.
Therefore, creating structure and having a plan can make these discussions productive. Here are practical tips for couples discussing finances to help you manage money together more effectively.
Find a Good Time to Meet
Timing is everything when it comes to money talks. Find a time when both of you can focus without distractions. For example, Sunday evenings often work well because it’s the start of a new week. Avoid discussing finances after a long day at work, as both of you might feel tired and less engaged.
Dave Ramsey emphasizes, “A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.” Picking the right time to plan can help you follow through.
Additional resource: Here is a good article from Ramsey Solutions on How to Make a Budget.
How to Create a Money Meeting Agenda with Your Spouse
To keep your meeting on track, set an agenda ahead of time. This avoids confusion and helps both partners feel prepared. Here’s a simple structure:
- Review the current budget. If one spouse manages the finances (like a Family CFO), share how much is left in each spending category, such as groceries, eating out, or gasoline. Using personal finance tools can make this easier.
- Discuss upcoming expenses. Identify unplanned costs or new priorities. Agree on any sacrifices needed to stay within budget.
- Set spending priorities together. Talk about any wants or needs and decide what comes first. This ensures both of you are on the same page.
Most importantly, having an agenda prevents your meeting from turning into a stressful back-and-forth. Stick to it, and the process becomes more efficient over time.
Steps to Avoid Arguments About Finances in a Relationship
Talking about money doesn’t need to cause fights. These simple guidelines can help you with how to talk about money with your spouse:
- Choose the right moment. Avoid discussing finances when one of you is tired, stressed, or distracted. Reschedule for a time when you can both give 100% of your energy.
- Keep meetings short and focused. A family money meeting should take no longer than 15-20 minutes. Longer discussions can feel overwhelming and lead to frustration.
- Limit money talks outside the meeting. Agree to save most financial conversations for your weekly meeting. This rule prevents spontaneous arguments during dinner or family time.
- Know your spouse’s preferences. Some partners want details, while others only need an overview. Find the level of detail that works best for your spouse.
- Practice patience. One spouse might naturally manage money better. Remember, mistakes happen. Be patient and learn together.
- Listen actively. Don’t interrupt your partner during the discussion. Listen to understand their point of view.
These steps create a calm and productive environment for financial discussions.
Why Regular Money Meetings with Your Spouse Matter
Having regular, structured conversations about money makes a big difference. For example, my spouse and I feel less anxious about financial decisions when we have our weekly meeting. Besides that, we overspend far less because we’re constantly communicating about our goals and priorities.
If you follow these tips for couples discussing finances, you’ll experience fewer arguments and greater financial peace.
As Dave Ramsey says, “Adults devise a plan and follow it. Children do what feels good.” A regular money meeting helps you act like a team with a shared plan.
Final Thoughts
How to talk about money with your spouse is an essential part of a healthy marriage. By choosing the right time, setting an agenda, and following key guidelines, you can have productive financial conversations without conflict. These small changes can help you stay on the same page and work toward your financial goals together.
Looking for more resources? Here is a Money & Marriage video study from Compass Financial.
What are your tips for managing finances in marriage? How do you avoid arguments about money with your spouse? Share your thoughts!